Sexy times in the movies always seem to work out, don’t they? The couple gets hot and heavy and then voila! They simultaneously climax and all is well. The thing is? That’s really often not the case in real life.
Women are built differently than men. Now, I know you’re all, “Duh,” but hear me out. They can often go from zero to sixty miles an hour sexually. We need more warm up time.
A whopping seventy percent of women are unable to orgasm without clitoral stimulation. Most women can’t climax from just penis-in-vagina sexual intercourse. Nothing is wrong with you if you are unable to orgasm through sex alone. Oftentimes, manual or oral stimulation is needed for a woman to get “there.”
For this reason, some women feel unsatisfied even after their guy orgasms. If he orgasms before you and then the party is over? Well, then, my dear, you have an issue. Healthy sex is a two-way street. The great news is that a good man wants you both to be satisfied at the end of your lovemaking. Otherwise, he’s not the dude for you.
Here’s the real pleasure principle, girls: Sometimes as young women we’re more focused on pleasing others. You think you’re being rude by telling him that you need more. Truth? There is nothing admirable or sexy about sacrificing your voice or your right to pleasure.
What Should You Do?
You must say something, chica. Suffering in silence is not a viable option. If you don’t speak up you’ll start to resent him. When you resent your partner the relationship is doomed. Communication is everything. If you feel comfy enough to be sexually intimate with someone you should be able to talk to him, right?
How To Talk About It.
One option is to pick a non-sexual time to start a convo about your sexy time. Start off with all of the positive things about your interactions. Tell him what he does that makes you HOT. Then explain that you recently realized your body just needs more time for you to feel that ultimate pleasure. You can also get a book on foreplay and suggest you read it together. We bet you don’t get to that many pages before you’re scaling new heights.
Show Him The Way.
Another option is to show him what pleases you. You can move his hand — or head — to gently guide and teach him how to pleasure you. Don’t worry, he won’t think less of you for wanting to feel good! He’ll just think that you can’t get enough of him—and that will turn him on more! Especially if you tell him, “I can’t get enough of you. Help me to climax as hard as you did. Let’s try this…” You can also ask if he’d like to see you play with yourself and show him exactly how it’s done.
The Bottom Line.
My darling, if you are grown enough to have sex then you are adult enough to cultivate your self-worth. A woman of worth never sells herself short. You deserve to feel all of the pleasure that life has to offer. If you don’t feel comfortable asking for full satisfaction then perhaps you shouldn’t be having sex. It’s natural to be nervous for awkward situations but here’s one way we can woman-up!
You deserve to feel good, right?